but it makes me kind of nervous to say so.

I know he doesn’t like me. He told me he doesn’t. He said, ‘I’m not the right guy for you.’ But I could care less. I still feel the same way. I really really really like him. I know I’m not in love, I’m just in like. But it seems like it’s more than just a crush. I can’t get him off of my mind. I see his face wherever I look. I miss him. Whenever he smiles at me I feel like we’re the only people in the room, no matter how crowded it is. (And it’s usually quite crowded.) I can joke with him. He’s competitive, which I love. And he can hold a conversation. He initiates conversations. He doesn’t wait for me to text him first. (I know that sounds so trivial, but from him it means so much. To me at least.)

I keep ho[ping that maybe he was lying. Maybe, just maybe, he was really nervous. Maybe his feelings have changed. Maybe he didn’t know how to respond. Maybe he does like me, he truly just thinks he’s not good enough for me. I know how pathetic I sound. But I can’t help it. He makes me happy. He brings out the optimist in me. He brings out my self confidence and he makes me blush. I can’t help but smile when he’s around. Even if I’m down, I see him and think of being with him, and a smile is brought to my face.

A couple of days ago, he texted me. He just said, ‘Hey, how are you, it’s been a while.’ And we started talking. He asked if I worked that night and I said, ‘No. Why? Need me to check your schedule?’ (I was planning on checking mine anyway.) And he replied, ‘No, I was just wondering if I’d be blessed with your presence tonight.’ It’s so stupid that that makes me smile. It’s so dumb, because I’m aware that he was just kidding, but I really wish he wasn’t. Oh! And I was driving back to school-from getting lunch-and he was behind me at the stop sign and he honked. That made me so happy! It’s so dumb!!

Why do I like this stupid boy!? He confuses me and makes me…I don’t even know what he makes me want to do! Ahh! I think I’m going crazy because of him.